Don’t Take It Personally

Does the following sound like something you might have heard in third grade? “I invited her to my birthday party, and she didn’t come. So, I’m not going to be friends with her anymore.” The birthday girl suffered hurt feelings and sought revenge by shunning the rejecter.

Or at least that was what I did.

Growing up and becoming a business owner required more learning than how to balance a budget or create a marketing campaign. One of the harder skill sets for me to understand was how to separate my feelings from my actions.

The adult entrepreneurial version of the above scenario might sound more like:

• “I sent them a package and they never called.”
• “I left a message and never heard back.”
• “They never replied to my email.”

Those words seem to justify crossing a prospect off the list. As a seasoned entrepreneur I now recognize the mistake in interpretation. What I’ve learned, and pass onto my clients and audiences, is that there is little or no correlation between a lack of response and a lack of interest. The more appropriate interpretation is:

• “They must be extremely busy.”
• “Other things must be calling their attention more than my proposal/design/message.”
• “I may be lost in a pile or on a long list.”

Yes, lack of interest could very well be the cause, but it should never be your primary belief.

Who wouldn’t love to have all emails responded to promptly and calls returned within the hour? But the reality is, that is rarely the case. Instead, build in a follow-up system—like a calendar tickler as illustrated above—that keeps your psyche supported and your calendar alive with activity.

Here’s what I do: whenever I call a prospect and leave a message that requires a response I take an additional step by making a notation on my calendar. I assign a date by which I would like to hear back, say 24 hours, a week or more later. See the example above – Vermont Group, return call, February 15.

Then, and here’s the critical piece, I let go of any expectation until I reach that note on my calendar.

Often, happily, I’ll have heard back by the time I get to the calendar page that I’d marked for my next follow-up. That’s the best case scenario. Sometimes I get to the note and re-consider. “I haven’t given them enough time,” or “I can wait another week for this.” Then I move the date forward on my calendar.

If it’s a time-sensitive opportunity I will not wait for a call back. I will take the next step and follow up. This usually entails alternating methods of contact. If my first attempt was a phone message, I’ll write an email for the second contact. Or, I might seek out a networking venue where I could “bump into” the prospect. Other methods of communication include a postcard mailing or a personal note.

Is this sounding calculated to you? You bet it is, and it works. People are often flattered that you continue to pursue them even when they haven’t responded. Staying in touch with your client base and prospects requires commitment. Part of your job is to have a creative, comfortable and reliable system so that you can stay focused on your goals.

So nowadays I keep the “invitations” flowing. I follow up regularly no matter what. And I barely notice the occasional but inevitable rejection. I simply refer to the small sign over my computer that says, “Next!”