I invited two of my clients to let their gremlins have full rein at the beginning of our group’s call. They each had a minute to let loose, and they did a beautiful job. My purpose was to allow the negativity to have its head, and then excuse it from the premises. Coaching and gremlins don’t work well together. Those critters must be removed.
It was a very productive rant. I’ve asked my clients’ permission to share the words of their saboteurs because they are universal, even though they may sound personal to you. Here’s what they heard. Sound familiar?
- “You don’t really know what you’re doing.”
- “Why not just enjoy the summer?”
- “Do you really want to build this big a business?!”
- “That’s a lot of work.”
- “It doesn’t matter how you‘re feeling. You still have to show up for your clients.”
- “You can’t do this forever. Why bother?”
- “Who says you have to go to the next level?”
It didn’t take long to fill the allotted time, but I could tell they were running out of steam at the end. After that, I denied all entry to gremlin-esque thoughts or concerns. We had a very productive session.
In a self-help book I read long ago, it was suggested that you reserve a special time each day to spend on what’s bothering you–say 4-4:15pm every afternoon. That will serve as your dedicated gremlin/voices time, a chance to give your full attention to the matters at hand. If a voice starts grabbing your attention at 10am (“You’re an impostor!”), remind yourself to take note and consider the ‘advice’ at 4pm. You can see where this is heading. Inevitably, the flow of your work, what you’re meant to be doing takes over and you’re able to work peacefully and productively. When the appointed time comes, you may or may not decide to mentally hash out the earlier thoughts. Our 1-minute rants served a similar purpose of re-training the mind when it comes to gremlins and saboteurs.
One great transition that occurred after that initial exercise was the re-framing of one client’s thought. In order to get to the next level, this business owner felt that she would have to “expose [her]self more.” That sounded frightening to her and to me, too. After discussion and processing on the subject, this is her new language regarding the opportunity: “I consciously create important relationships in a bigger arena.” She began to feel the positive pull of that phrasing. Feels really different, doesn’t it?
So, spend time with your gremlins…on your watch, not theirs. I promise, it works.
Good, no GREAT advice. Working on “scheduling” this gremlin time than letting it grab me when it works it’s way into my day…
Ruth