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Aug 10, 2011

I’m Taking a Break

I don’t do well at buffets. Talk about leaving money on the table! Too many temptations, not enough appetite.

When faced with all those opportunities–antipasto, salads, entrees, cheeses, soups, veggie platters, not to mention entire dessert stations, I contract. I feel less than and anxious that I’m not able to consume as other patrons do, and that they’re getting more value for their dollars, enjoying the experience more and feeling completely satisfied. Talk about comparing my insides to others’ outsides. Now there’s a losing formula.

So it is with the class I’ve been taking over the summer months. It feels like a smorgasbord. There are the weekly modules that run 2-3 hours each every Friday afternoon at a time when I’m thinking about the weekend ahead. I can download them anytime and listen at my leisure. Fair enough. But then I already feel behind. There’s an accompanying PowerPoint download (aka google doc) with tons of links to be understood and digested.

Throughout this experience, I’m tasked with creating my own webinar, marketing it, partnering with others and, to really get the most from the sessions, attending others’ free webinars to get the gist of the medium.

On top of the weekly lessons, there are support calls with a coach and others in the community. Plus (are you full yet?) there are online communities on linkedin and facebook with a stream of dialogue that penetrates my inbox hourly. I also signed up to be part of a support group which meets an additional hour a week. There’s tremendous bang for the buck in terms of my investment, but I’m realizing, I’d rather have the bite-sized gourmet portions, thank you.

Oh, and when I was on Monday’s coaching call (with 38 other attendees) there was a ‘chatroll’ with streaming dialogue amongst us. The leader threw out a networking question–e.g. What do your clients like best about you?–for us to chat about. It felt like a speedway to me.

I had a coaching call with my wonderful coach on Monday afternoon. I was totally overwhelmed by 5pm having had that whirling dervish community conversation earlier in the day.I didn’t know which end was up and almost canceled our call because I thought I’d be better served using the time to try to get a handle on my coursework.

She likened my state of being to the Apple computer’s wheel of death. It’s going and going and you’re not sure if it will ever stop.

We talked about what’s really important to me right now. One word came to mind. Chloe. My daughter and son-in-law gave birth to my first grandchild a month ago. I’ve seen her several times, but know how extremely precious these early weeks and months are for her and her parents. I want to spend as much time with them as I can. The only thing coming between me and that vision is the buffet of choices my course is laying before me.

With my coach’s astute and loving guidance, I decided to take a break. Yesterday I didn’t open one message, attend a call or look at my notebook or online training module. Boy, do I feel great today. Not surprisingly, I may actually spend an hour listening to the current lesson, but I don’t have that internal pressure building inside me to load up my plate.

And where do you think I’ll be this Friday? You guessed right. In the park with little Chloe.

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11 Comments

  1. Elizabeth H Cottrell (@riverwoodwriter)

    Whoaaa, have you ever articulated the way I feel much of the time…so much I want to do, learn, accomplish, but often overlaid with a sense of panic or dread or guilt that I’m not doing it right. Intellectually, I know that just because I CAN doesn’t mean I SHOULD, so part of my journey right now is getting clarity on a filtering process. You are being a great role model.Thank you!

    Reply
    • janepollak

      @Elizabeth

      You summarized it beautifully. Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should. Thanks for reinforcing my message with your thoughtful words.

      Reply
  2. Lindsey Pollak

    Dear Grandma Jane,
    I can’t wait to see you on Friday — no buffets!
    Love,
    Chloe

    Reply
    • janepollak

      @Chloe
      Reading and replying to blogs already! That’s my grandkid!

      Reply
  3. donnaelle

    the apple never falls far from the tree !! balance my dear with complete joy of the heart….xo and congratulations to the new parents and grandparents!

    Reply
    • janepollak

      @Donna
      Thanks for the permission and affirmation. Coming from another grandmother, I really appreciate it.

      Reply
  4. LINDA URBACH

    I bet chloe could do this course with her eyes closed.

    Reply
    • janepollak

      @Linda
      Definitely with her eyes closed.

      Reply
  5. Juliette Weiland

    Jane,
    Congratulations! When our first grandchild was born, we discovered that my daughter-in-law, an optometrist, was suddenly required to work on Tuesdays, a day with no babysitters. She would have had to put him in an infant nursery for one day a week. I couldn’t see it. I decided one reason for owning my own company was to be able to make my own decisions about my time. Then I made one of the best decisions of my life. I opted to take care of our baby grandson on Tuesdays. I did not tell anyone about babysitting. What I told everyone was that Tuesday was reserved for my most important client. I did not answer any business phone calls or emails. I never even turned on my computer. I devoted the whole day to my grandson. What a smart decision. Not only did I have lots of fun playing blocks and bouncing balls but I discovered that others suddenly respected my time more. When it came to appointments, clients asked me to check my calendar and see if I could work them in. And I felt great. The joy and laughter that I experienced from that one day a week focused on a little happy being was an opportunity of a lifetime.

    May you enjoy your moments with your grandchild as much as I did – and still do, except now we have five grandchildren. Even more fun.

    Juliette Weiland

    Reply
  6. kate Woodman

    Great post Jane and glad you are getting your priorities straight. I have backed off recently because of elevated blood pressure and family issues and am much happier realizing that family ALWAYS come first and the business can wait. Enjoy little Chloe!

    Reply
  7. janepollak

    @Juliette
    I love how you framed your decision and kept it private. You have a full and balanced life and five additional beneficiaries of your love and attention. How fortunate for all of you.

    @Kate
    “The body is the midwife to the mind.” ~Arnold Mindel
    So glad you listened to yours!

    Reply

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