Mary's Privacy Curtain
“Unless you’re bleeding, don’t come in for the next hour,” I would tell my daughter Laura back in my home office/egg decorating days. That was my inelegant way of establishing privacy and quiet time for my work. I didn’t have better tools back then and blush at how crudely I stated my need.
When my client Mary called last week and spoke about a similar issue, I understood her pain. As moms working at home, establishing a quiet zone that will not be trespassed is a frequent concern. And it’s not only children who have trouble staying away. Mary’s lovable spouse likes to talk and is currently between work opportunities with time and feelings to spare.
Mary has set up an attractive, well-lit and neatly organized space for herself in the basement of their home. But there was no door on it to shut out the world when she’s working. Mary has all of the qualities of a great coach, so her husband saw her irresistible presence at home, albeit in this space, as an invitation to hang out. She adores him, too, but as a professional starting this at-home business, enough was enough.
Most of the time when I’m coaching, I ask powerful questions of my clients knowing that they already have their own answers. In this case, I simply asked, “Could you put up a door?”
Mary laughed out loud because that had not occurred to her. Because of the architecture of the space, a door wasn’t going to work. But within 3 hours of our conversation I received this image with her already implemented solution. I could feel her joy in the execution and the gentle, but clear boundary she established. BTW, names have been changed to protect the innocent.
With my kids I’d say, “Don’t interrupt Mommy unless your hair is on fire.” It would get them laughing but they also got the point.
@Jennifer
Wise woman! Humor always deepens the message. Brilliant strategy!
Jane,
How wonderful an example of boundary setting.
I am imagining a decorative folding Chinese screen as a way to define Mary’s space.
For me, I have long since set boundaries on meeting with people, even new prospects. I keep it to one very busy day out of the office. If that doesn’t work I meet in the early AM 8 or 9 or later PM 4-5.
These boundaries usually work for everyone and it keeps my resistance to do my work at bay!
@Debra
Never thought of the screen idea. Love it! Thanks for that and also your boundary around meetings. Very helpful.
Love the curtains – stylish and practical as well! I’m lucky to have a door to my little home office and I’ve told my children that when the door is close, so is the “Mommy Shop” (unless of course they are bleeding or their hair is on fire or Oprah is at my front door!)
As a mompreneur, you have to have “heads down” time in order to have “hands-on” time with your kids because when all is said and done, it’s likely I’ll remember the time with them and not those emails I had to respond to.
Great blog, Jane!
As someone who has always worked out of my home, through children, a stay-at-home husband, and the distractions of daily life, I’ve learned that setting boundaries extends way beyond the door on the office – though that certainly is a HUGE help! It seems to require loads of self-management, discipline, transparency, clear communication in all directions, and an ability to dance with whatever shows up day by day and moment by moment. Step one – create a door of some kind! Step two – train the people in your world what you need from them. Step three – be sure to walk away from the office often enough to give others what they need too. I’m sure there are at least 17 more steps, but those are what come to mind now.
Valuable info. Fortunate me I discovered your website accidentally, and I am shocked why
this twist of fate didn’t took place in advance! I bookmarked it.
@Helen
I think Steps 1-3 covers it elegantly. Thank you for this valuable comment!
@Debbievans
Funny how fate works! Now must be precisely the right time. Nice to have you on board.