If you’ve ever had a massage, this is something the therapist will ask a few minutes into your treatment? Do you want her to press harder, or simply give your muscles a gentle workout?

It comes up in coaching as well. I have a new client who is balancing a burgeoning wellness practice with caring for a young child and the approaching summer vacation. When we first started our coaching relationship a few weeks ago, she said she’d like to use the next few months to lay a foundation for the corporate program she’ll be rolling out in the fall. She wanted to spend good quality time with her youngster and take advantage of the warm weather and its unique offerings.

Sounded like gentle pressure and a touch of accountability was all that was required to keep her thriving and on track. But, by our second phone conversation–and this happens all the time with my clients–opportunities were beginning to manifest. When you begin focusing in on what you really want to have in your life, the Universe complies in equal measure. And my client’s excitement level escalated with the concrete offer to submit a proposal.

Her child’s needs are still in the forefront, but the pressure now is how to carve out quality work time so she can have the outings, experiences and joy of a youngster’s exuberance while also pursuing business opportunities.

One of the tenets of my coaching training is that the client’s agenda is the most important thing. I’ve got the tools to apply more pressure or to hold back and listen for the deeper truths that lay beneath the surface. It’s good to check in with the people who hire you to find out if what you’re doing is working and if they want more or less pressure at a given time.