.

I promise, this is not a humble brag or a disguised way of having you compliment me (but go ahead if you must). I seriously don’t quite get this malady, but I’m clear I have it.

On my Visions Group call every two weeks we each (there are three of us) have 8 minutes to speak about our latest projects and ask for feedback on what’s challenging us. Then the other two have 4 minutes apiece to share their wisdom. (Please borrow this formula for your own groups. It’s efficient, precise and works wonders.) For the past couple of years, with a slight change in the population of the assembled, I continue to receive the same reaction when I go through my share. I list what I’m up to, what I’ve done, and what I want help with. Inevitably, one or the other will say, “Wow! You do so much!”

In my estimation, I am 100% equal to the others in terms of my bi-weekly work and output, but for some reason, whether it’s the way I articulate it or the speed at which I speak, they consistently make the same remark. “That’s a lot.”

The gentleman in my group said directly–and he’s a therapist, so I hold his words in great esteem–“Jane, you have productivity dysmorphia.” I actually want to coin that phrase, since when I google it, nothing comes up. The closest thing is body dysmorphia, which I clearly understand – not really having a clue about the genuine sense of the space one takes up in the world (too little or too much) which is a distortion of reality. I laughed when he said it, but I recognized the truth in his words. For the life of me, though, I don’t see it that way.

What I have done is created a spreadsheet of my life/business categories. Every few days I update what I’ve accomplished in each of those areas. Writing, group coaching, retreat planning, family activities, household renovations, etc. I believe I hear similar groupings from my colleagues, or in my mind I do. I feel equal to their output, not overdoing or overachieving in any way.

I tell you this not for affirmation or approval, but to ask you this question, do you ever experience a lopsided recognition of your skills, contributions or talent? Please share this distortion of reality with me. I’ll feel so supported.

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