As I’m stitching circles onto my recently commissioned art piece, my mind goes off in myriad directions, mostly unpleasant.
I begin second-guessing each color decision I’ve made. Is the arrangement of light and dark attractive? Does the orange make it pop or create a clash? Should I re-stitch the center star, or is the looseness a nice imperfection?
Just ten minutes before those thoughts were these: I should be charging double. I wonder what galleries would like to represent me. Soon there’ll be a waiting list for my pieces.
Was my ego getting away from me? Who am I to think that about my own work? Don’t let your head get too swollen, I’m reminded by my critical inner artist.
What keeps coming up for me as I forge ahead in this new-to-me art form is SHAME. The acronym I’ve learned for this word is: Should Have Already Mastered Everything.
Somehow, I – Jane Pollak – SHOULD know.
The truth is, I don’t. I’m a humble beginner. I had to watch a youtube video on how to iron wool. Do you need steam? Must I use a cloth on top of the wool. Thank God there’s a youtube to go to!
Just for today, I’m humbly taking the next right action, not pretending I know it all, and trusting the process. It’s a pillow top, not world peace.
How’s your right-sizing going today?