Doreen Birdsell
From the first time Doreen walked into the classroom where I was seated at Saugatuck Church in Westport, Connecticut, things got brighter.
We were both members of a fellowship that included frequent shared experiences, not only during our regular meetings, but also in assisting each other with the pressures of everyday life. Doreen served as half of my Pressure Relief Group (PRG) for over a decade. The suggestions Doreen came up with, and modeled in her own life, were always divinely inspired. They required practical steps, but the path was inevitably spiritual: taking actions based on faith. The year was 1997, and we remained close friends through her move to Provincetown where she and her partner, then wife, had purchased an inn, my divorce and subsequent relocation to New York City, theirs to Florida, and the myriad challenges in between.
During a visit back to Westport from P’town in the early 2000’s, Doreen showed up at a morning meeting I was attending. I was agonizing over the arrival of my coaching and leadership partner from California. Our program was all set, and I looked forward to his stay, but having to make up the guest room was paralyzing me. My housekeeping skills are delinquent, and I don’t enjoy any part of bed-making or cleaning. “I just want someone to do it for me!” I whined during my share. I can’t remember if it was during the meeting or right after that Doreen piped up, “I’m an innkeeper. I love making beds.” She followed me home and that guest room sparkled with her touch.
Doreen and Lisa at their Commitment Ceremony
What most comes to mind when I think of Doreen is love. She (and her wife, Lisa) had the deepest faith of anyone I’ve met and exuded that in every interaction. She passed away yesterday evening at 5:18pm. As Lisa said, “She needed to stay on earth until our country transitioned,” and she did. She’d been battling lung and brain cancer for over two years. I never once heard her complain. She always wanted to know how I was doing.
Dearest Petunia
My last visit to see Doreen was the day the news came out that Biden had officially won the election. Heading to the MetroNorth Station at 125th Street to visit them in Black Rock, CT, I was riding the M125 bus when a raucous cheer went up. There was hooting and hollering as we traversed from west to east. Seconds later my phone dinged as family and friends texted to be sure I’d heard the news. Lisa met me at the Fairfield Metro station with Petunia, their beautiful rescue whom they so lovingly nurtured to health after her traumatic beginning, and drove me the mile or two to their condo.
Doreen was in a recliner that allowed her to keep her body moving. It was clear she was in pain, but she never mentioned it. We talked about mutual friends, the election, my world and life. Had I not seen her physical condition, I wouldn’t have known how ill she was. I stayed an hour. Lisa said it was the most engaged she’d seen Doreen in weeks. I left optimistic.
There have been weekly prayer calls for Doreen – last night was the 105th – to share poetry, songs, uplifting readings or stories to help her through. Lisa rarely left her side. Other good friends took shifts, even during this pandemic. She stayed alive to see our new president take the oath of office, a bookend to our November visit.
I write this to spread Doreen’s message of love and faith. Even though she’s no longer with us, her legacy is pure light and love. May you have a moment of her spirit touch you as you read my story.
With Doreen and Lisa at my 60th
What a lovely tribute to your friend. Thank you for sharing her with us.
@Kathie Thank you for your kind comment.
Thank you for making this beautiful tribute to Doreen. My husband and I got to know Doreen and Lisa while living in So Florida and became friends for years. I’m so very sad to hear about Doreen’s passing. She and Lisa have been a beautiful light on our path. They give freely of their time and commitment. Sending love and warmth to Lisa and Doreen and all whose lives they’ve touched. Maura
Doreen – and Lisa – were very good friends, and her death was a huge loss to everyone who knew her. What a strong spirit she had! Thank you for letting me know that you, too, were touched by her.
Beautifully said, Jane. I share all the same feelings about Doreen and Lisa, and their deep faith and spiritual inspirations. And that Petunia! What a sweet, lucky girl to have found them. Miss you.
@Cynthia I know you do! We are a huge fan club of admirers of that very special woman. Our connection through her is a deep bond. Thanks for your support. Miss you, too!
Tears here.
@Diane Yes. Big loss…
Eloquently said, Jane. This world is a better place for Doreen’s journey here. My life is richer for times shared with her. All our lives are brighter as a result of Doreen Birdsell’s influence. Doreen will be dearly missed. Her laughter rings on for me. I loved her. And I have you to thank for introducing me to the circle where I might find her. I send you my condolences on the loss of your dear friend. Hugs, Jane.
@Denise So good to share this with you, Denise. I remember how you, Vinnie, Doreen and Lisa would get together A LOT! She was pure love. I’m so glad to share these fond memories with you. Thank you for commenting.
Jane, I am so sorry to learn of Doreen’s passing. I had the pleasure of meeting her at the first JPAF meeting in Westport. Her presence, strength and grace filled the room. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Lisa.
@Dawn Yes! She had to drop out of the group to pursue her partner’s passion in P’town. I’m so happy you had the opportunity to experience her brightness. Thank you for writing, Dawn! Lightens the grief.
J A N E, how wonderful to read what you wrote about Doreen. It’s a beautiful post. I met her around the same time and recall the clarity and love she brought to every moment, in a class, church or mastermind. She was so positive no-matter-what. May she rest in peace. xxxxx Nancy
@Nancy Clarity! Yes! She was a laser beam. I so fondly remember our trip(s) to the Cape for our group meetings. Thank you for reminding me, Nancy.
Jane, this is a beautiful tribute to one of the best people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. Doreen was inspiring in the countless ways you’ve articulated so well. The world is just a bit dimmer without her yet will always shine a bit brighter because of who she was, the inspiring life she lived and the love she shared and spread.
@Nancie We were so privileged! Thank you for this. xo
Jane, your eloquent and loving words will be carried on angels wings to Doreen. My heart weeps deeply and it also rejoices in the rich friendships she shared. You are one of her treasures and the bond you shared will always be alive.
God Bless you Always. Please stay close as I learn to fly without her.
@Lisa Doreen always said, “You can’t fall off the middle.” You are surrounded by so much love and so many people who care about you. You are always in my thoughts and prayers, and I will continue to reach out to talk and even to visit. Sending all my love today.
Wonderfully said Jane. My family and I stayed at Lisa and Doreen’s Inn at the Cape years ago. They were great hosts. And of course Lisa used to work with me shooting weddings. I will miss those calls from Doreen asking about some help with a project or some advice about software, but mostly the chats it turned into. Even though ours was mostly a working relationship, I will truly miss that she is no longer with us. She was a wonderful person. We need more people like her in this world.
@Jon Are you the owner of Absolutely Phenomenal videos? I think it was Doreen who pointed me in your direction many years ago. You helped me dupe VCR tapes – that’s how long ago that was! Thanks for your warm words about our mutual friend.
That was so beautifully shared Jane, and I too am saddened by our loss. I sat next to her in many meetings, but even more so, she photographed my wedding and my maternity pictures. I knew she was special before I even knew how special. Wishing wishing all those who knew her a gentle healing path ahead.