Bette Midler as Sue Mengers

My sister Meredith and I celebrate our birthdays in July, but decided to jump the gun by a few days in order to see Bette Midler’s performance in I’ll Eat You Last: A Chat with Sue Mengers, which closed yesterday.

What a thrill! Bette performed the part of the legendary talent agent in an 80-minute monologue assisted only by an Unlucky Audience Member (that’s how he’s referred to in the script, which I bought because I wanted to be able to read every word she’d spoken) and at least a pack of cigarettes not to mention a joint or three.

I would have loved the show no matter what, because I think she’s one of our national treasures, but the entrepreneurial spirit of her character is legendary and needs to be documented.

Bette Midler signing autographs after Wednesday matinee.

Sue Mengers was brought to the US by her German parents when things there were becoming untenable, pre-Hitler. They moved to Utica, NY. Sue, as an 8-year old girl, learned English mainly by going to the movies and imitating the speech of Joan Crawford and Bette Davis.

In the play, she describes how she got up her courage to walk across the playground to introduce herself to a popular girl in her class. Blessedly, that child was kind to Sue who became more and more confident in this country. Years later, describing her activities as a secretary at the William Morris Agency:

I answered the phones…made coffee and I listened. I listened to every conversation I could…I went everywhere and met everyone. Night after night, I was out pressing the flesh, charming my way, going to shows, going to dinners. Pretty soon people were asking about that cute little blond who seemed to know a lot of people and had opinions about which she was not shy…What was I doing? Crossing the playground.

You want to be a thing? Make yourself that thing.

The show blew me away. The story of this self-made woman being portrayed by a self-made woman. I laughed, applauded and went to the stage door afterwards to watch the activities there. I wasn’t interested in getting an autograph as much as seeing how a star comports herself in that situation.

It took 45 minutes for Bette to exit the theater. Over a hundred people waited for her to walk out the door and see her at closer range, me especially. I wanted to share this image, albeit of her back, to show how tiny she is compared to the immensity of her size and performance on the stage. She was low-key signing autographs, methodical and cordial. I’m certain she needed to save her energy for her next performance a few hours later.

I also wanted to show you her getaway ‘limo.’ I understand that she is environmentally conscious and was very happy to see a well-polished black Prius as her carriage of choice. I love this woman!