I recently bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years. We had a lot in common when we first met–young kids, young businesses. We were close friends during those early decades, but life, moves and different industries took us in different directions.

It’s always interesting to hear what comes up when you see someone from the past. What I wasn’t expecting was to hear about her financial woes during our less than 5 minute conversation. And a request to spend time with me, ostensibly for my advice. I left feeling icky. Would she even listen to my advice, or would she just continue to vent her upset? Do I turn down a friend? I have a hunch she won’t call.

I remember meeting a young woman at a networking event who had her infant on her shoulder–an unusual enough sight at a business meeting. But our brief conversation had me backing away quickly from her negativity. “What a beautiful baby,” I said admiringly. “Thank you,” she replied, “but she should be with her deadbeat father who left me high and dry tonight.” Speaking of too much information.

My big takeaway, and my nugget to pass onto you, is to notice what’s bubbling up in your conversations and be sure that it’s what you want to be talking about. If your personal pain is spilling out uncontrollably, it’s time to go for help. But a random meeting in a parking lot is not the place to begin.