One of the reasons I just joined Ladies Who Launch was to be sure to claim my space at Kristin van Ogtrop’s talk last week in Greenwich. I knew it would be a sell-out and that members would receive priority. I became a platinum member and slid onto the list of attendees.
She was fabulous!
To get a sense of Kristin’s outlook and humor I recommend buying her book (seen here), but to give you a small appetizer, here are two of my favorite points she made during her talk that night:
#3 – If you don’t have a thick skin, learn to heal quickly.
She showed an actual email she’d received (the person’s email name and address included!) that was insulting and rude as an example of what she occasionally contends with. That really got my attention as I have recently been on the receiving end of others’ ire. When you’re a public figure of any dimension, you do become a target. I liked her directive to deal with the hurt and move on rapidly. I’ve been applying that wisdom to good advantage.
I remember a Newsday poll from many years ago that named Howard Stern as the best-loved radio personality. He was simultaneously named the most-hated radio personality. Fame (or any public notice) will often be a double-edged sword.
My other favorite point Kristin made was:
#4 – Don’t exceed your own personal speed limit.
That’s easily understood and could be a screen saver on your computer monitor. How often do you take on more than you can accomplish in a day? That little word “no” (which Kristin recommended liberal use of) will help keep your travel lane flowing smoothly.
In addition to hearing Kristin speak, I’m delighted to be a new member of Ladies Who Launch which is being so well run by Kathy McShane who is devoted to helping women business owners succeed. I share that passion with Kathy and am excited about joining forces with her to serve our community and beyond.
Thank you so much for this post. One thing that has helped me set my own personal speed limit, was learning that I have the right to say “I need time to make a decision.”
Most people want a response/decision immediately — which used to mean I’d say Yes to things before I had a chance to really think about how I was going to included this new task (big or small). It felt out of control. I now say I need time to check my calendar and I will respond by a certain date. If they absolutely cannot wait even an hour for a response then I usually tell them the answer has to be No.
It’s been hard to implement, my default is to say Yes, but it’s a good phrase to slow down the conversation.
–Pat
I totally agree with not exceeding one’s speed limits! Boundaries are the best things a busy person can have and saying NO is a great way to start creating them. I like another quote from John Maxwell: “Don’t let your mouth overload your back!” Good advice for everyone.
@Pat
Thanks for your thoughtful comment and example of how you’re using this idea. I find it helpful to read about your ‘system’ for dealing with such demands.
@Abby
Love the Maxwell quote! Thanks, Abby!