Monday was impossibly rainy and everything that happened up until about 4:30pm that afternoon made me want to crawl into bed and pull up the covers.

• The big check I’ve been waiting for didn’t arrive.
• A speaking engagement I thought I had booked fell through.
• A weekend outing with friends from my Leadership group was postponed indefinitely.
• My husband and I received horrible news about the death of a young man we both knew–five months after the fact.

These were  disappointments, annoyances and shocks. A lot for one day. I called a good friend, whined a bit and got a fresh perspective.

And then it got better. I needed it to because I had a speaking engagement Monday night, and I didn’t want to have that negative energy interfere with my message.

We are always at choice. I know that I want to get paid and have a good relationship with the delinquent payers. I want to speak for the organization that bypassed my talent this go-round. I look forward to getting together with my colleagues and not being resentful about the delay. I want to express my sympathy without any attitude about not being informed earlier.

This requires awareness, consciousness and desire on my part. I could so easily slip into self-pity and self-righteousness (two of my favorites) and make everyone wrong. Ultimately, I know that doesn’t serve me or those I serve. Taking that pause, dialing up a friend and reflecting on the bigger picture–Who do I want to be? What do I want in my life?–helps me make a better decision in the moment.

My talk that night went well.